Paranoia used to create depression; eventually becoming an obsession.

Being in a vulnerable position is, or can be dangerous; in the wrong hands, it can a battle to trust.

I’m over the destruction from the unknown need to panic; my goal is not for this to become a habit!

I’ve come along way, though, I’m still on a journey that isn’t far; my light will continue to shine brilliantly, especially in the dark!

Journal Entry # 35

I’m on a psychedelic high; rupturing any ideas that will cause me my demise.

Ruining any moment associated with doubt; expressing it louder than a shout – I hope you understand what I am talking about.

I feel I express entirely too much; I want to come out of that habit, because they’re other ways to pick myself up.

As I move forward down this road, I feel in my heart that I’m actually going somewhere; from my view it’s here or there, so I’m told.

Heat and moisture can either make clouds or mold – depending on circumstance you either fly to the sky or drive down a road.

I’m struggling to make this make sense! I’m frazzled with scaling walls, and hopping every fence!

I’m being charged a price that wasn’t my expense….

Journal Entry # 32 and 33

Rinse and Repeat*

Numb-Err 32*

Discovering who I am has displayed many leveled difficulties.

Dwelling in places I shouldn’t have been, but it’s my fault, you see.

Taking a stand for what is right, and not a great good.

If people would just mind their own, they would understand why I took a chance and stood.

This is what I’ve I learned so far; now I need to move on to healing my next scar…

Number 33*

Each day, I reflect in the morning; deafening myself from outside noise.

I’m in wanderlust, and the route is revealing many reasons I am glowing; God! I’m doing my best to not to find anything else to fill this void.

I am quite complex; My make-up is pleasant, but the colours are blue.

I am the one to be next; the cover of my book isn’t half of what I can do.

Journal Entry # 31

Mistake to a Lesson*

Eating an unforgettable fruit

Yearning to understand Eve’s point of view

I’ve dived into something that was once a promise

I’m enduring many emotions, yet I’m at my calmest

Realizing that I do these things to test the strength I heed

I’m taking control of this vice without intentions of deceit

Proving to myself that I know when to take action

Being stern, breaking down each obstacle by a fraction

I call myself enhancing the powers I already possess

I just don’t those around me to extend any extra stress

Why isn’t there another way to celebrate

My option is a funeral or a birthday cake – for Christ’ sake

One glance, digesting the fruit of an unknown

And I just disappear – wanting to find somewhere to call home

Journal Entry # 25*

I fell into a deep slumber, whilst listening to an abundance of wisdom; I magnify Jesus’ name, because only he is the way to a true kingdom!

I’ve never been shy about His name or my love for Him. Many don’t understand, but I’m glad that I’m one of them!

I view my writings as prayer; I get deep into the thought, knowing that when I get lost in any trap within my mind, I know to always call on my Savior!

I ask now and anyone reading this – Shower us with mercy, so that grace can flow when sorrow makes us thirsty; with your guidance, I have no fear as I travel through my journey.

Amanda’s World*

“There’s a well in me…”

Genesis 1:28

Often I stumble down to a place that makes me dark; putting myself behind the prey that caused it from the start.

I stray from any form of manipulation; it causes me to feel confused with frustration.

Today, I retire from old guilt trips; I’m moving on to greater fellowships.

I’ve realized that support is replaceable; I understand that there’re more options than to lean on those who’d rather make a fool of you.

Devastation, embarrassment, and acceptance – these things have appeared in my life as a hinderance.

Exploiting it has opened my spirit, finding fruition within the problem.

Showing responsibility for my actions, to create better solutions to solve them.

Capturing the key idea of this conundrum inadmissibly, understanding where the roots begin; bellowing over indescribable emotions that I’m fighting within.

I’m confident this will also be well enough to come together; soon time will tell, until then, I’ll continue to apply the pressure!

Journal Entry # 20

2 Timothy 3:16-17

I am authoring today, there are things I have in my heart, I want to say; I want to validly deliver these terms, in a certain way… So down below will express what I truly mean, in the way that I pray…

“All Scripture is inspired by God, and is useful to teach us what is true and what make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teach us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”

I am soaking up many experiences I’ve had in yesteryear; seeing later on that I’ve been surrounded by people whose intent was hurt me as a whole – it’s been made very clear.

I present myself with necessary wisdom – marking the times where I win some and lose some; I’m comprehending that life is never going to stop throwing stones, it’s really up to us to focus, and stay in the proper zones.

Managing my inner-anger has had a plethora obstacles I have to go through, and as simple as it signs, there are things I know will be hard to do.

Plodding through my journey, so that I don’t miss anything; I know there’s a finish line close to this chapter, and it’s approaching faster than next spring…

Journal Entry [interlude]


moving on in my philosophy, can help to be more parallel; being aligned, whilst asking for support, always end with, “I wish you well.”

trying to enter a room without smite – doing my best to show hospitality, even when I may think it’s not right.

I have an insisting heart toward my aspirations; as I traveled many roads I’ve broken a great measure of curses, going back many generations.

finalizing the agreement I made to myself; Assuring each choice I make never hinder me, but help.

Journal Entry # 17


Retaining inspiration to better my situation; another may see gray and think gloom, whereas I see a rainbow from my perception.

Gray to me is that fine line that petrifies folks; panicking, without realizing that it takes away your sanity once invoked.

I am ingenious, layered with principles that pushes me infinitely toward transcendence; as I continue, I realize that where I was weakened, is now a strength of independence.

Journal Entry # 16


Connecting to an inexperienced part of who I am; Undressing layers as each day pass – as if it’s an intimate promised land.

Any philistine that tamper with my devotion, shows the value of their time; my destination is inevitable, detours never put me in the position to ever run behind.

I am focused and resilient toward the path paved for me; mindfulness has kept my thoughts from feeling superfluous and empty – giving my mind more care and healing therapy.

going off the rails, whilst smiling harder than I ever have, all because i took a chance on defining faith; as I absorb all of this energy, i lose interest in the diversions that got me to this place.

It’s giving, “Finally!” – because the grunt of the lesson is behind me!