Journal Entry # 15

3rd Moon’s the Charm*


The room is still on high frequency

-I’m awake, yet it feels like a dream

being embraced like that, was the definition of intimacy

-God knows, nothing is what it seem

I’m in anguish by the way things are conditioned

-As a woman , it’s hard not to display emotion

I get mad often, because, what happened to my choices and decisions

-Why can’t i just be the focus?

Journal Entries # 3 and 4*

although in my mind it’s feels like gibberish; please understand this is me figuring out who I am with a peculiar way of delivering it

3


spilling emotions into my work; easing my heart from the actual hurt

every day I try to make sense of what I am doing; conceiving the conquering of everything I am pursuing

on a journey to tranquility, even though life mostly has been on a mission to defeat me; I’m motionless to threats, I’d rather let my pen bleed

shaking up many hornet’s nests, my mind is as strong as my body, later, I’ll find time to rest

4

this is very therapeutic – watching Ricky and Morty – because it’s sincerely amusing

quoting my thoughts with intentions to reflect on my ways; in search of a better manner to behave

I’m fixing up my environment for succession; as well, I’ll reflect on where I need progression

motivation never felt so good – it’s all in the mannerism and physical face value; inspired by the options available to me; catching up to all that’s due; I should always be given the truth

Journal Entry # 2*

I'm changing the narrative;
attaining all that is provided, so I can 
produce clearer reactions to give

manufacturing better habits, 
so change can be less difficult;
no longer pointing fingers at those who aren't
at fault

clean and fragrant vibrations keeps me 
motivated; pushing my space to productive
and cultivated

not saying I know where this truly going; though,
when it's clear, only then, will I embrace the moment

S/o*

following a melodic tone

feeling the sensitive flow of its moan

the vibrations of its falsetto rubs me all the right ways,

using music to explain what it is I’m trying to say

I’m a hopeless romantic

though, I do not fall vulnerable to misleading antics

the soothing sound of love pulls me into a trance

generating thoughts by talking through this dance

I’m spoiling myself with a few classics,

music to my ears, to me, is everlasting

skit*

I find myself following up with the impossible; enduring bondage, making my argument plausible.

never should I allow my surroundings to distract me; I’m turning back to who I am suppose to be.

I’m elevating myself to reach my rightful crown; I have to continue to fly until my feet find solid ground.

searching for a better way to maneuver; my conclusions have to result as an improver…

Story Time…

The will to conquer is the beginning of the victory

~Europa, Ki Wi

Being Thought About.. What if it was true? 

Getting a little technical about that statement. Everyday, it really doesn’t matter who it is I’m thinking it could be; all I know is I wonder, “I wonder if they’re thinking about me?” Sounds like where I was going at – sounds like a passionate little rap. Moving forward, worrying about what the next person feels about me isn’t anything I care to put focus towards. I mean at this moment, I am creating my thoughts with letters put together, and it’s easy, I always own it! Keep pushing me, say what I thought you said anyway, go ahead, lie to me, and be a fake homie. The truth always comes to light, you can stay in that dark alley, I’ll just simple smile then, I heard it’s very bright. Kill them with kindness, it use to make sense, but now, to me, there’s no other saying like it. Being who I am is what people practice to be, I was blessed with this gift, so it’s a little more easy to me! Does this make you think about she? I mean me, I’m getting beside myself, but that’s only for me to agree! I’m in awe at the fact that people even take the time to paint me negatively; learning that once you spend time with me, that anything negative from me would be an impossibility. I laugh, no matter how I feel, I laugh. The best dose of a healthy starts begin with that, there’s no science behind it, it’s simple, no grids, no graphs. I wouldn’t think twice if that was the only choice I had. People and their thoughts with no common sense behind it, always have a point of view or opinion about who you are and how you feel, resulting in them looking and sounding a bit mindless. I know it’s someone out there that know what I am saying is really real! 

Brooding – engaged in; showing deep thought about something that makes one sad or worried.

~ Meriam-Webster

I would never give credit to man for what God had already written over my life. What I will do, is be grateful for the right vessel and spirits that surrounded me when my true gift was brought to the forefront. Inspirations if you may. I do know that I’m happy in this place and the journey has only begun. The greatness the Lord has in store for me – even I won’t be able to fathom the abundance when it comes! I’m patient and very excited all at once. This is an exhilarating feeling, or energy – what may be the best way to describe this vibration. Sounding as if I’m saying nothing at all, and that’s actually saying a lot. Your actions are verbal as well, don’t keep your mouth shut and still show me your moves like I don’t have more than sight – but vision. Randomly as I write this, compromise happens to come to mind after hearing the how it was used in a deliberation of what a woman should be for anyone else but herself. Compromise is impossible when you’re only being yourself, and how do you not be yourself? That’s so much energy wasted – people do this on their own too. What I wonder though is, if someone was to tell you, “hey! Don’t be yourself be something else, because if you want me in your life that’s the compromise you have to make!” Like what! [chuckles very loud] Outrageous – oh how the human behavior can be. 

bridge*

Walking by faith is the most healthiest thing you can do. Faith is when you allow the Lord to take over all milestones in your life – good or bad.

Simple, YET it can be so complicated, and this can be said from experience. Whether it seem like I’m babbling or not, this was in my spirit to put down. Life is so hard, having front row seats to that can bring a lot of emotions and feelings that are sometimes unexplained.

Things unknown are mostly for the best in my opinion. As bad as I would like to know every single thing, I’ve realized that it’s better not to know all the time. Doors that can regrettably be open are the hardest ones to close back.  

unto me*

I am positioning my thoughts on paper, exploring my mind with help from my savior…

there’s a specific mentality I want to maintain, doing my best not to make the same mistakes again…

overwhelmed by the lack of faith, but doing above and beyond for my peace sake – no more, will I walk eggshells as if my life is at stake; the spiritual things I’m sensing will eventually take it’s rightful place…

3125*

I must watch my back

and be focused on permanent achievements, that is only supported with facts

jumping over the walls of fear

I’m a faithful one, I am everything I say I am – I’m just making it clear –

I’m subjected to a place of empathy

it’s a fulfilling moment that never leave me feeling empty

molding one’s life can be a strenuous journey

but be strong, even when it feels like an eternity

this is your time….

confiding*

looing for a vibe that’s mystical; fixing one’s gaze for a touch that isn’t physical… connect with me with a warm heart – though, I’m honestly over that part – deceit has never went this far… I’m ready for a scene where my time in this moment can depart… why do people love to hurt?

then try to be the confidant when it began with them first; those behave in this way should be cursed – not to sound narcissistic, and without any effort to judge – but someone has to be the one to give these issues a nudge…