Paranoia used to create depression; eventually becoming an obsession.

Being in a vulnerable position is, or can be dangerous; in the wrong hands, it can a battle to trust.

I’m over the destruction from the unknown need to panic; my goal is not for this to become a habit!

I’ve come along way, though, I’m still on a journey that isn’t far; my light will continue to shine brilliantly, especially in the dark!


Using my pain to ignite creativity; I’m constantly looking to have longevity.

Pressure that is fixed upon me gets me down; thereof, I use depression as a throne to sit, because I wear the crown!

Being exceptional in perceptions, because I am love regardless; I have the power to conceive! I know love and pain will complete the promise.

Old Love*

Renewal is Expiring*

I won’t let him go, yet he refuses to confess his love for me – this is getting old.

Loving this man significantly that I am worried I’ve been doing this all wrong; At least I’ve upgraded to, “I miss you’s”, after a year, yep, you can put that in a song.

Even the birds outside decided to no longer watch from the power lines; this is no longer unconditional, this is hurting more than my pride!

It’s weird, and I’m a bit confused. I don’t know if you want to be here, or if you want to make me feel used, then disappear.

I’ve made it real clear I don’t allow adolescence when I’m dealing with adult conjunctions; I’m a woman who demands competence, and love that actually function!

Journal Entry # 34

Come Hereeee!

Watching a man’s best friend obey his master; wondering how the instruction given is so clear to him

As I observe, all I think to myself is: “why is my leg shaking faster?” Being the genuine person I am, the vibe was very clear!

In brief conversation, I got exactly what I need immediately after.

Although the encounter was brief, it was the best conversation I’ve had thereafter…

Journal Entry # 32 and 33

Rinse and Repeat*

Numb-Err 32*

Discovering who I am has displayed many leveled difficulties.

Dwelling in places I shouldn’t have been, but it’s my fault, you see.

Taking a stand for what is right, and not a great good.

If people would just mind their own, they would understand why I took a chance and stood.

This is what I’ve I learned so far; now I need to move on to healing my next scar…

Number 33*

Each day, I reflect in the morning; deafening myself from outside noise.

I’m in wanderlust, and the route is revealing many reasons I am glowing; God! I’m doing my best to not to find anything else to fill this void.

I am quite complex; My make-up is pleasant, but the colours are blue.

I am the one to be next; the cover of my book isn’t half of what I can do.

Journal Entry # 31

Mistake to a Lesson*

Eating an unforgettable fruit

Yearning to understand Eve’s point of view

I’ve dived into something that was once a promise

I’m enduring many emotions, yet I’m at my calmest

Realizing that I do these things to test the strength I heed

I’m taking control of this vice without intentions of deceit

Proving to myself that I know when to take action

Being stern, breaking down each obstacle by a fraction

I call myself enhancing the powers I already possess

I just don’t those around me to extend any extra stress

Why isn’t there another way to celebrate

My option is a funeral or a birthday cake – for Christ’ sake

One glance, digesting the fruit of an unknown

And I just disappear – wanting to find somewhere to call home

Journal Entry # 30*

Continued Journey*

Understanding her worth is priority; She yearns for God to rule in her life with authority.

In her downfalls and her success, I mean accomplishments, she always holds everyone up, knowing it is she who is truly down, but she is patient.

She tries to focus on that one solid goal until things distract her, thinking what they detoured her to was solid gold.

I applaud her efforts that she’s commissioning; my only prayer is that someone is listening.

Journal Entry # 27 and 28*


One hour ago things were very grey; right now I’m more than amazed.

Repetitive things don’t always adjust to the way I think; life is familiar – just like writing in the same ink, doesn’t mean I’m going to writing the same thing.

I’m looking for grace and mercy to flood my soul and spirit; I want to feel it in my veins; I’m searching for it beyond these walls, above this ceiling!

Don’t make me say that again….


I am great

I am empathetic

I am not small

I am not pathetic

I am a servant

I am a leader

I am not quiet

I am a loud speaker

I am a conqueror

I am triumphant

I am not less than

I am one out of one-hundred

I am filled with glory

I am thankful to my Lord

I am not fiction

I am a true story

Journal Entry # 26*

What is my deal? I’m providing all good energy, yet, to others, the price of it is a steal!

Am I too nice, too lenient? Do you think it’s fair, even though I’m obedient?

Give me a moment – I’m talking to myself; you know what they say, “that’s not good for your health.”

Well, what I do? Why is there silence, will the answers I receive from my questions be of any use?

I can’t stress it enough! We are here to be used for good works; one shouldn’t abuse, because one is a jerk.

Going outside of the lines isn’t a feature I hold, and it’s a habit I choose not to break.

I’m opposed to repeating any of my mistakes.

It’s intriguing to watch one actually have the guts; it devours my stomach with disgust.

I can’t stress these things enough!

Being of use in good works was the only thing expected of us.

Continue to be useful, not useless; don’t stand in the way of another’s shot – be humble, your character is all you got!

Shower me with mercy so that grace flow when I speak…


Amanda’s World*

“There’s a well in me…”

Genesis 1:28

Often I stumble down to a place that makes me dark; putting myself behind the prey that caused it from the start.

I stray from any form of manipulation; it causes me to feel confused with frustration.

Today, I retire from old guilt trips; I’m moving on to greater fellowships.

I’ve realized that support is replaceable; I understand that there’re more options than to lean on those who’d rather make a fool of you.

Devastation, embarrassment, and acceptance – these things have appeared in my life as a hinderance.

Exploiting it has opened my spirit, finding fruition within the problem.

Showing responsibility for my actions, to create better solutions to solve them.

Capturing the key idea of this conundrum inadmissibly, understanding where the roots begin; bellowing over indescribable emotions that I’m fighting within.

I’m confident this will also be well enough to come together; soon time will tell, until then, I’ll continue to apply the pressure!