Growth

Everything I manifest Will be everything I’ve worked so hard for! I’m already celebrating, because I can feel it! It’s already on it’s way – I’m just not sure of its ETA…   I am a writer and I am consistent, I will value every lesson I learn. All of the stuff I’ve worried about in the past, are things I’m sure won’t last! I will continue to enjoy my life while I have it! My writing abilities, were gifted by the Lord [this will be an accomplishment]…   Ive already won; it’s my blessings. Now I must continue to be faithful; continue to do his good work. This is good; when you begin to love what you’re becoming, it starts to be easy and far from hard work!

No time for any intermissions;only start to finish. An outset toward an end, while finishing the commencement. Going about things in a circular motion; continuously revolving without being broken.

distractions around still planted to the ground despite the interruptions I ignore all assumptions invigorated with love all faith belongs above I am a different one a mother needed by her son rejoicing through pain knowing this storm won’t happen again.. grateful even without wants because those rewards will be there when they come in my opinion, that’s all but fair…

blending time securing mine yielding pressure with no measure all that’s needed is done discreetly my love is fair not to be dared I walk my miles it’s why I smile working together regardless the weather even when apart every moment is a start…

I am seeing my life as utopia; without perfection truly being its relevance – but understanding that my rights and wrongs can display as diplopia; as I going on this will indeed make all the sense. I see myself in a better place without it being too comfortable; but premeditating my goals creating controlled outcomes. In saying, I have a plan; I can’t allow manipulation to play apart in my journey turning my days cyan….

experiencing a rush
most exciting
than my first crush
something I'm not fighting
turning so many moments
into momentums
loving the seeds I'm sowing
I here trumpets; and drums
inspired by experience
it's the moments in life
everything isn't so serious
moving like everything's a fight
in the end of my day
I take the time I need
to pray
that's the best way to feed
nourishing my renewal
ready at all times
making my stance frugal
paying attention to all signs

Quarantined

: to isolate from normal relations or communication

~ Dictionary

the shock in how it was introduced
at the moment I can't believe what I'm living through,
 what the future would call history; this is a mystery
in shock that this is what it took to really get the earth clean
this is amazing that everyone are trying to prove they have common sense
when in reality the point of the emergency - still get's missed
follow all the rules, not just some
wow hand sanitizer; that's only one
walking by faith, still using wisdom
focusing more on myself; this is what I've done
sitting in the basement. spilling all of my emotions
naturally doing what I do; writing with a passion
delicate with every notion...

Pay Attention

Walking by faith is the most healthiest thing you can do. Faith is when you allow the Lord to take over all milestones in your life – good or bad. Simple, but yes it  can be complicated, and this can be said from experience. Whether it seem like I’m babbling or not, this was in my spirit to put down. Life is so hard, having front row seats to that can bring a lot of emotions and feelings that are sometimes unexplained. Things unknown are mostly for the best in my opinion. As bad as I would like to know every single thing, I’ve realized that it’s better not to know all the time. Doors that can regrettably be open are the hardest ones to close back.

Patience – is  the ability to endure difficult circumstances such as perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding in annoyance/anger; or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Antonyms include hastiness and impetuousness.

  Virtue – Behavior showing high moral standards; (in Christian angelology) the seventh highest order of the nine-fold celestial hierarchy. Antonyms include vice, and iniquity.  

Discernment : The ability to judge well.

this quarantine has the world going mad; i don’t blame them, there’s every reason to go mad! though not having a clear head isn’t healthy – in this time your life is more important than being wealthy. yes, we need supplies; but don’t let these things be your demise… understanding why it’s important to be focused – no matter what’s going on, there’s still more to notice. speaking only with an opinionated perspective; this is the new life we have to live, and i don’t respect it.. catering to those that truly can’t grasp this those are the ones that matter this isn’t the time to brush pass this this world doesn’t need to be sadder…

Don’t let no one stop it Be your best, outstanding Allow the seeds to be fruits It’ll prosper into good use

Amen

Thought is the process of perceiving and making sense of the world or perhaps the universe

Randomness

I've been in and out with writing in my book, then writing in this notebook. 
I really am enjoying the liberation that's manifesting in my life; I couldn’t have asked for a better breakthrough to receive. Going through the things I have going on is definitely a lot, knowing my circumstances, still, I keep smiling and laughing; making other people a priority to shadow the fact that I'm hurting in ways, I could never explain. Being myself has it's challenges; when you're supposed to be the one that brightens up the room, and make everyone's day with a smile so infectious, others can't help but share one back. Somedays I yearn to wear a frown, and not to be mean but to relax muscles that I have no desire to exercise, in those moments. Why is that not ok? I need breaks too. Without leaning towards complaining, I do my best to express my personal concerns about things I feel should and shouldn't happen and I move forward; at least that's what the outcome should be without any backlash, judgments, or gossip. People love to talk about you, just as much as they did with Jesus too.  

Falling in love with myself, wanting someone to share it with me,   Eartha Kitt said, and boy was she on to something!!  No reason at all for this, but I wanted to create a fantasy,  To create an environment of bliss, and tranquility!  Live within me, mold yourself around me my knight,  Give me the security you know I need, make this right!  Love me, be in love with me, support me, and encourage me. 

Tell me I am beautiful, even though I knew it already.  You want me to breakdown immensely;  With the gushiness of my vulnerable heart,  So you can say I was going to fold from the start…  Not going to happen, you know, I always go back to that,  He think he’s slick, but I’m putting this back in the sack   Had to rhyme that out like cat in the hat.. So you won’t have an idea  Of what I’m really saying, but I’m winning this check my stats.  Never lost a mental game, I’m always on ten toes,  

Even when I’m tilting, because I know people can go from doves to crows….  I have faith in you, more like spiritual hope, of what you’ll be to me  Loving my vibrations and energy doesn’t mean you may want eternity.. 

Although, I don’t feel that from him, and it’s relieving.  I just don’t want to be wrong again,   because this could definitely be deceiving.. 

  Hope not….No pressure though… 

Having bursts of thoughts, that never had intentions to be sought. It’s cute when you know what it is you need to do, when to submit and when to subdue, anyone or any issue.

My mind is going and going, like the how the energizer bunny be rolling, the intensity of my supposition is a rush of so many intensions. Good ones though, nothing resulting in malice,  but with love, care, and compassion. I can be so affectionate, people know that about me, especially if you’re my sweetie!

Off subject, but just making a point, or example if you may, I’m laying it down and just getting heavy today! I only want you to see what my vision is, it’s a beautiful sight, of things manifested through my strength and my might. Even though I’m in the storm, I have my umbrella and my trench coat to keep me warm.

The Lord is my shield and protector, hence the outerwear for the weather. I don’t want to dig to deep down in there with my metaphors, but I’m ripping these band aids off even with the sores! Because what’s done is done, you’ve already been hit, there’s no point in it to run. I’m now fighting back, throwing this knowledge, no need for a gun.

My intellect is my ammo, my thought process is the chamber, and my tongue is the trigger. I have no time to entertain foolishness, when I could be counting figures. The revenue I deserve, for all the hard work I do, because my purpose is to serve.

My heart is pure; always coming from a good space of energy, though, it can get dark when life sends mindless stupidity; that evolves into a test that I should’ve passed easily.

Again, I’ll learn, same lesson, different scenario; I’m going take it all, apply it, and learn not to go there anymore and to let it go…. 

Insanely Sane

Not sane, yet, beyond the opposite of insane 

Enlightened in any domain 

Trusting fate [God] 

I wasn’t made the same 

My faith is broad  

Worry will never torment my brain.. 

Two of Me   

  The things people tell me   I don’t always remember  Not that it didn’t happen  I may have another occupied member 

Sticky Notes 

  • I ask for discernment; Lord God to be able to see through the demons that may come my way. Amen.  
  • Honor; Grace; Covering 
  • “and Jesus increased in wisdom and favor with God and men..” 
  • I am a Shunamite woman; Heart, Hospitality, Honor 
  • Step out on faith. All you need is as small as a mustard seed 
  • Common Purpose, Common Principle, Common Vision 
  • Put your money where your yes is 
  • We all have EQUAL value 
  • Thrive, Strive, $urvive 
  • Wisdom comes from the spirit – Stay Positive Shakia 
  • Let no one be in charge of your happiness  

Trauma brings the best out; it’s not good but it’s true. Trials will get you moving about – no one wants to be blue. 

~ Europa, Ki Wi
I want to tell me story, though, it becomes difficult. I just want to be understood, without my emotions becoming my fault. I want to be known that empathizes with thoughts. It's never too much to ask, when its love 

Forget all that  

No more emotional debt 

Time to spirt 

Very big and truly strong 

And let time get there first… 

Starting today, I'm starting in the middle. I'm done trying to get a new beginning, my beginning has already happen. All that’s left before I leave this Earth is truly what's left in the middle of it all. I will work on that until it becomes habitual in my life. All that I have now is a fresh start and that’s better than nothing!!  

Noun | Vuh-Rid-uh-tee

Viridity – naïve innocence

~ Meriam- Webster

RUNNING AWAY FROM LOSING MYSELF; GIVING TIME AND PATIENCE A DIFFERENT KIND OF STEALTH. I AM MOVING INTO A PLACE OF PEACE; NOT ALLOWING MY FAITH TO DECREASE. EVOLVING INTO LARGER MEASURES OF WHO I AM; BOASTING ABOUT MY FUTURE AS IF IT’S ALREADY IN MY HANDS! FORGIVING ALL WHO DESERVES IT, AND REPLENISHING MY SERENITY; BECAUSE IT WOULD BE FOR ME AND NOT YOU, FORGIVENESS IS WHAT I NEED. IF THE LORD CAN CONSTANTLY SLAP MY WRIST; WHY WOULD I THINK TWICE WHEN IT’S MY TURN TO FORGIVE. IM RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN; JUST TO BE SURE THAT I REMAIN WHO I AM. THE CHANGES I WILL ALLOW – ARE THOSE THAT IS POSITIVE; ANYTHING REFLECTING NEGATIVITY WILL SURELY BE DISAVOWED. ON A MISSION TO BE MAGNIFICENT; POURING INTO MY GIFT TO PROTECT MYSELF OF THOSE THINGS MALIFICENT. READ IT AGAIN; MAKE SURE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE; SURELY YOU KNEW THIS RIDE WOULD BE MORE INTENSE THAN THIS…

Endurance is more than strength; it shows a person’s true resilience going through any hardship. Having a momentum that powers you up every time things are looking bad; an alluring future hardly require any demands. When it’s yours and you have it in your hands; it’s no longer a job to hold on to something you’ve already grabbed. Surely there’s dedication that will make its upkeep; to continue to renew a gift given whiles ago every time it manifested when you had to speak. Empty words; untrustworthy. Not to be trusted until it’s moved into a verbs – then is when I remove all feelings of incautious worries… 

No time for any intermissions; 
Only start to finish. 
An outset toward an end, while finishing the commencement. Going about things in a circular motion; continuously revolving without being broken. 

take it; then make it better

~ Europa, Ki Wi
 the opening to wonderful experiences; excites and exceed the expectation period. Newness in its sensation; approving the site and physical feelings of its formation. Leaning away from any odium acts; and falling into honor and respect with impact!  
My way out is magnificent 
More so, priceless 
Makes no sense 
It's why I kill them with kindness  
Getting to know old people 
Like our encounters were recent 
By old people; meaning - past people 
From those I cut off, when I needed 
I can still remain authentic 
Even if they haven't changed 
My blessing are in it 
A friend is still my name 
Love thy neighbor regardless 
That can't be tamed 
Surely then, our future will go the farthest 

Looking for evidence; in understanding my urge for elegance. 

~ Europa, Ki Wi

Evolving | mag·nif·i·cence

   characterized by or attended with brilliance or grandeur

~ the Dictionary

believing in what you can be, then acting on it – that’s not something anyone can just do. especially having more negative than positive energy around you. instead of paying that any attention; try blocking it out like it was something that lost your interest. it’s hard to excite yourself with things you are capable of – letting your ears bleed with idle talk around can take a huge toll; a hard tug. again, ignore it though – because even with all the libelers, your path was already written; no way can anyone pull that plug

Exalting my victories no matter how big or small;  Celebrating whether it’s a win or loss.  Ensuring my faith by my graciousness; allowing my walk to show my words up without emptiness.  Flourishing in being humble; all good thing to say for now on – foul words don’t even part a mumble.   Securing my blessings by worrying about only myself; learning me is the best kind of wealth!   Digging deep into my universe; absorbing all know – appraising my true worth.   I’m going keep on going too; there’s always room for upgrades to add value to things you thought you already knew! 

Today became day two in doing this blog, I wasn’t in the space to complete it yesterday. I prayed for tomorrow [today] and manifested what I really should be talking about. It hit me! Sooner than me walking away from my [work] computer to go home; “look at how far you’ve come in your writing!” – I say to myself, like I’ve never met me before! For now on evolving is the only way for me…

Believe in me  

Believe that I am capable 

Believe that I am irreplaceable 

Honor who I have become 

Honor that I am still undone  

Love me because I am me 

Love me because I am who you see… 

Mental Health | Rejoice, Rinse, Repeat …

Depression – a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. 

~ Meriam-Webster

And in my case :

  • Socializing  
  • Being awake 
  • Appetite 
  • Any activities 
  • Work 
  • Cleaning (when my mind is messy so is my house) etc. 

Just to name a few of my interests that I tend to lose at times when this emotion takes over me.    Even though I’m aware of these things, as bad as I want to rid those feelings, my mind seem to block a way to withdrawal the urge to feel what I’m feeling. I also tend to have a severe weight of regret on my shoulders, sometimes for no reason at all. It’s very nerve wrecking to have to deal with that every other moment, day, week etc. It’s hard. My strength consumes me in the best way though – I can literally suppress any ill feelings (even when I am feeling it) while I’m at work. I’m amazed at this everyday even at this moment, saying as though I’m working right now. Today, and any other day in the past is really teaching me the hardest lessons right now, I want nothing more for this to be over and pass me at this point – patience is desperately needed in my spirit more than ever; this long haul will be the great journey of my victory. Because Jesus said so too! Being faithful through all three feelings I go through with the depression that is on me, helps the position I am in. Most of the time the position I seem to always find myself wanting to walk away from is uselessness, embarrassment, judgement, self-criticism. I just want to grow and evolve into a pleasant and kind, god-fearing, Shunamite of a woman who can stand on her on two feet with the Holy Spirit walking with me. I know the Lord walks with me, faithfully. I feel his presence especially when I’m really happy and really sad, and of course everything in between, but the milestone moments even when I think it’s my mind playing carnal games, I really know my Savior is with me! 

Things that has encouraged me is shown as the following :

  • My Lord Savior 
  • My Son 
  • My Grandparents 
  • My Sisters (the ones in Jesus’ name as well) 
  • My Patients, sometimes the Employees too  
  • Self-discipline 
  • Accomplishing goals 
  • Having money in my pocket (for the survival at this point) no other way to look at currency 
  • Music I relate to  
  • Writing, Writing, Writing 
  • Gathering my thoughts, as soon as possible 
  • Listening to positive feedback on the things I have done right. 
  • Co-parenting without the dramatics, I just wanted my son to have a great relationship 
  • Keeping up with my appt  
  • Keep up with I have going on with my finances (that keeps me in a great space)

Devotion – love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. 

~ Meriam-Webster

Things I’m devoted to shown as the following : 

  • Being faithful in the Lord, looking to him whether it’s good or bad. 
  • Life itself; living is the hardest thing to do and I pick myself up and thank God I have breathe in my body to continue my journey to my purpose. 
  • Taking care of my mental health with help from healthcare and transparently study the word. 
  • Take care of my son, he deserves the care, and love a mother can offer and I’m proud of him. That’s why I don’t know where the beef is coming from. 
  • I also allotted my time to exploring gifts I haven’t taken advantage of; learning from everything literally. 
  • Writing my songs, poems, and short stories has opened the door for an outlet/breakthrough. 
  • Positivity  
  • Smart workings, with hardworking results ha-ha. 

The things I surrender myself to will not be this world no longer, literally had to have everything stripped away from me – Now look at me. Everything was taken away rigorously, the anguish of it all felt back to back; with no one to turn to, talk to, or run to but with the exception of the Lord! He’s who I’ve always needed, and I forgot that apparently. I start looking toward man to be the savior of my inequities, when I should’ve humbled myself and bowed down to the father.  

Moving forward I am in that place now, just another lesson that needed to be learned for me to understand nothing can be done without him. That wisdom, or intuition you feel within your spirit isn’t just any voice, take the time to meditate to listen so you can hear the warning too and not just with your ears. Your consciousness and intuition and the [precious] gift of common sense, was given to us by the Lord to utilize for the best of ability to live life abundantly. These gifts are only useful or powerful when you allow him to order your steps in the decisions needed for yourself.

It always seem like crazy talk until you have nothing left, it really feels crazy when you have nothing to give as well. A crimpling feeling I wish on no one honestly. I don’t care anymore about the things said about me, those words spoken about me in my face or behind my back will always come back on you tenfold! I’m covered by the blood, and that’s real.

Precisely quoted by my one of my favorite singers, “God knows it, Your mind impure, soul I possess, he knows it, Anointed and protected, I was chosen…”    An example of taking what I need and leaving what I don’t, everything was meant to be treated like such saying as though life should be treated like that with worldly things anyhow. Everything below heaven isn’t always right so why would I listen to every single thing said to me.     As I go on about it as a matter of fact, it seem like I need to just make better choices on what I take and what I leave; the way I’m choosing could possibly be ass backwards ha-ha ah man! Now that’s a brain teaser!  

Moving on to the emotions that comes with depression is very interesting, this can go on for hours you know. I’m not sure where any of this is taking me but I have no doubt in my heart that where I am going with this, seem like the right road to be walking down. I have noticed so many blessings around me that has also been showered on me as well.  

As shown some of the blessing I noticed were :

  • An angel came by my job to tell me that I should never stop smiling no matter what I am going through, and to keep going! 
  • Another heard my honesty in my spirit when I shared a common feeling of hunger (closed mouths don’t get fed she said to me) and yes, she bought me something to eat! 
  • One more for the third charmer, my back was turned and as I was telling my co-worker I was thirsty, a man (unknown) approached us and asked what did we want, you know closed mouths don’t get fed so I spoke up!  

  These were what seemed to be small moments, but it created such a big impact on the way I felt as a person, God using vessels all around me just to keep me encouraged. I am very grateful and humbled to be able to recognize God’s work. I am his servant and I want to continue to do all the good that I possibly can so that spiritually I will have a peace that not even my mind and heart can take away. And that’s the real battle!

Tired of going back and forth with my mind and my heart there’s a thin line there when you’re dealing with depression like damn. It can be very overwhelming – this is the test of strength though, lean on Him, he’s not going to let me fall and I clearly see that now! Even when my worrying becomes excessive, I pray about it the best way I can and mentally close my eyes of my spirit and have strong faith even when I feel like it isnt enough the gift is knowing that God knows my heart regardless and my story was written regardless. In the end, what I feel about myself matters but the truth in my victory was already written for me; looking past the carnal sight can be challenging, and that’s my thing!  

Copy & Paste

shedding new skin blooming within; giving me fluffy clouds announcing grace – very loud! beginning in the middle; figure the riddle, I am valuable – and the gold in me is infallible. breaks are void; ignoring what gets me annoyed. blocking all of its noise – embracing anger; in a new way, a new anchor only will tame her. people are only props. I am a being that makes plenty hearts stop. I refuse to portray what I am not; my comfort is priceless – far from selfish. yet, you can never please flesh; confused at another’s mindset… it gets me upset; because I was never made to be a threat.

Today is my new life; It’ll be new once more tomorrow

~ Europa, Ki Wi

the only way to truly keep it full circle; it must continue, and pages must turn on to the next. once i get to last sheet, i can turn it over and write out what truly went left. then, realizing the things i wrote toward my right will always make sense [catch my drift?]. listen, theses words aren’t empty; the journey already manifested! the next is my pursuit toward what rewards my approach along the way. realizing, now, that this road is made of dirt – it’s up to my vision to pave my way in the direction; no matter how much gravel i have to lay. my mind is my town, and i stand tall as mayor! i’m standing strong, even when i feel the weakness, i will still conquer it all in the end. watch these blessings i catch with my net of faith!

I shout, I roar; I push open doors, to beyond what can be more. envisioning until my eyes are sore; following my dream until I finally soar. knowing my worth is adored; making love easy to afford – maintaining me, on one accord. beloved towards the water being poured – on my sword, victory was always the reward…

loopy – because even when i am drunk; i want to still deal with the things i thunk. angry only because i want better; each day goes by someone wants to make me sadder. seeing my trauma, yet, taking advantage of my mental with the drama. but i’ll never give in and that is on my mama. singing loud off-key – not caring as long as my audience hears me! i’m so much smarter, then being grouped as just pretty!!

Having more than sight is everything living in this world, in this I don’t intend to rhyme like this is something to play with, because it’s just in me to say I  really don’t want to take the time out to think about what goes with what word – you know. I know for myself, as a personal opinion of who I am if It’s meant to come out that  way; then the truth was meant to sound that way. I paint pictures for you to truly understand the shoes I fill; it may seem small to the next person, but don’t look at the quality or the condition of its shell, but stand in the rawness that’s living on the inside. You truly don’t know; this is fine though, this isn’t your obligation. Your main priority is to deal with you; be for you first. Being last hasn’t really shown it’s  best rewards, it’s almost giving the blessing God intended for you – to someone else. That’s almost regifting something that was and is priceless, authentic, personalized just for you. How is that fair for you? You is really I, who happens to be me. Something I had to give up was my weakness to guilt; allowing people that should care about me, take full advantage for self-perseverance purposes. Shaking my head in real life – how can a pure heart do that; It doesn’t. Giving isn’t always good nor healthy; decisions are purposeful. The same way I may be picky with my food or even my men; why not be this way about my whole life. This seem to be the best way to live if I don’t just want to exist. Can i get a witness If you agree! Been waiting for this moment, to be free like this in the “comfort” of my own home. Bunny ears because being home isn’t always comfortable – I mean can I be real right now huh?  

Just wanting to put it all out there doesn’t feel like such a bad idea depending on the choice of conversation. Topics would be the formal word for those that laugh at the face of my format. Not realizing it was a poker face or cover page – you understand? No? Ok – check it, I mostly talk how I write, and it’s somewhat professional with a splash of ghetto ha-ha! That’s what the light, light skinned people would say; I call it just being me. People still look at me like a circus act though, and it’s cool. The joke is on them when they see how business is really handled. Then the respect is abundant. I’ll be clear, may I add – I don’t force it, if you love it, great. If you don’t, there’s always doors to walk through. The same way you walked in, you can walk out. That’s real.    

I would never give credit to man for what God had already written over my life. What I will do though is be grateful for the right vessels and spirits that surrounded me when my true gift was brought to the forefront. Inspirations if you may. I do know that I’m happy in this place and the journey has only begun. The greatness the Lord has in store for me even I won’t be able to fathom the abundance when it comes! I’m patient and very excited all at once. This is an exhilarating feeling, or energy – what may be the best way to describe this vibration. Sounding as if I’m saying nothing at all, and that’s actually saying a lot. Your actions are verbal as well, don’t keep your mouth shut and still show me your moves like I don’t have more than sight – but vision. Randomly as I write this, compromise happens to come to mind after hearing the how it was used in a deliberation of what a woman should be for anyone else but herself. Compromise is impossible when you’re only being yourself, and how do you not be yourself? That’s so much energy wasted – people do this on their own too. What I wonder though is, if someone was to tell you, “hey! Don’t be yourself be something else, because if you want me in your life that’s the compromise you have to make!” Like what! [chuckles very loud] Outrageous – oh how the human behavior can be. 

I tend to already have what my mind is set on in motion; I don’t use any magic or any [potions]. I am a [being] of action; getting the job done is what brings me satisfaction. so many standards has been set on me; though I am great, that’s my opinion for myself personally. I think entirely too much, and sometimes I overwhelm myself; when it gets intense like this – I realize that it’s only my [cue] telling me to get up! I can not allow my mind to become idle; thinking is wise but executing those things are sometimes my problem. you don’t want to feel that you’ve made the wrong choice; but, mistakes exist so that we can learn without [so much] remorse. depending on what was premeditated; the last thing you want for yourself is to allow your thoughts to feel [empty or vacated]…

My Greatest Masterpiece!

Ahmari Antoine

My boy has changed my life in so many way unimaginable, the love he shows me is beyond unconditional. This is a continuous blessing from my Lord Savior, and I thank him every day for such a gift! The way his attitude shifts, it’s as if he’s just tired of me sometimes; when he’s mad the world is not enough for him, I love that about him. Laying with him this morning was bliss, as well as panic and anger, he wasn’t feeling well; I have to go to work, yet my baby isn’t feeling well – no mother wants their child to suffer with any sickness, not even allergies! It is well, he is healed – Thanking the Lord because it is already done. Moving forward, Ahmari, you are so special to me, so many things to say about the way you make me feel; God, I know this boy have saved my life in so many instances; causing me to think twice in every situation. This is good for me, every moment I am a mother to this child – it is good for me. I love my son, beyond any measurement – he is my legend; he is my victor!  

Loving a child is more than materialistic, it is spiritual; that gives you more opportunity to learn who you are as the adult in this adolescent’s life. Children are the true teachers, and boy do this child teach me some lessons! It’s all good for me, and I’m grateful for every moment I’m brought to my feet, to stand on my toes, and realize there was something in this that I needed. Honor thy mother and thy father, in my opinion that’s the hardest job for children to deal with; which shows how strong children really are. Think about it, grown adults take more time to be ignorant and vindictive [sometimes for no reason at all], all because of the inevitable tit for tat. Children don’t hold on to grudges, but are quick to forgive and move on. With that being said, adults can be harder on life than children, yet they are to honor the adults senior to them regardless; that’s not an easy task, dealing with certain grown people, parent or not. I have many flaws, yet my boy look past it all, I am blessed. Thank you Lord! 

My drive and strength is powered by the eyes that watch me,  My son is my number one fan, and have no room to be disappointing.  Bringing me joy when my days are dark blue, and gray,  My baby boy leans over to me and always know what to say.  “You’re the best in the world mommy”, he expresses.   Just when I start to feel like my life is looking like a mess!  These aren’t empty words made for anyone’s sense,   But an expression of what I feel when I think of my son, hense.  Just enjoying the thought of pain I went through for such a gift,  Thinking of it as a miracle, when I think on it my arms lift!  God is so good to me even when sometimes I’m blind to see,  That no matter what a wonderful blessing my offspring is to me.    Not knowing what else to say that’s as creative,   Because when it comes to my son, it’s his relative.  He was created by creation of nature without a glove,   That indulged in its lust more than it’s love.  Sounds confusing but makes all the sentiency,  Having precious child, who looks for you  To be their dependency, no matter what you do.  As long as it’s sustain that child valuable.  Again all over the place, yes, I get this way,  Because words really can’t express this, it can only be displayed. 

Love | Patience | Blessings

Inhale your dreams; exhale your reality.

~ Europa Ki Wi

Dream Immensely

I am blessed; with the covenant as my style of dress. 

I am tamed; only to the Lord, when I speak his name. 

I am love; God created me to be kind and free like a dove. 

I am beautiful; without being vein, this is my view. 

I am giving; when you need me there, I’m attending. 

I am a server; because serving is what makes a great leader go further. 

Patience 

Being patient is like the hardest level on a video game; Being patient is sometimes hard to maintain. Being patient is like waiting for the alarm clock; when excitement of the next day and right now is far apart. Being patient is like breaking a habit; Being patient is something that takes practice. 

~ Europa, Ki Wi

I am quite attached to the things I think I need; then once it’s time to let go, past will show it wasn’t what it seems. I am in love with ideas; but when it fails, I literally drown in my tears. I am attached to benefit of the doubt; everyone deserves that chance, without someone turning up there snout. I become connected to things that has potential; I’ll continue to learn though, no matter the issue. I am quite attached mainly on truth. This is why the idea becomes more than a thought, this is why it’s something I constantly pursue…. 

“don’t follow me because of what you see; follow me because of what you know.” 

~ Europa, Ki Wi

Believe in Faith

When I look in the mirror, I see someone priceless. I see the real me, the she without stresses. The turmoil and pain goes away; even my own smile [most of the time] makes my day. I’m on journey and it all shows on my face; plenty of love within my eyes, I can truly appreciate my personal space. Looking at my reflection, visualizing my surroundings; placing myself above – something like mountings. Setting high-standards for testament; everything that comes my way won’t be easy, but because it’s my journey, it’ll be indulgent. I want so much for the woman in the mirror; I will be someone more than superior!