Always starting my statements with how I feel..
How is it we can’t control what is real?
What I mean by that, is that?
I’m thinking too much feeling blocked and I’m upset!
Whenever I feel a way it appear as a threat..
caught in my emotion, I can’t even elaborate,
It’s too much to really put down when you’re irate!
Yelling is an understatement to this unknown intensity..
Truly, I want it to pass, I want it to miss me.
I just need to take deep breaths sometimes seriously,
But I seem to think of that afterwards, I’m sure you can agree.
This spirit isn’t meant to be dwelled on at all,
Though, I give it so much energy, and that’s my fault.
Not like failure, but just a test I really need to study on,
Before the last minutes, before the chance is gone.
Seems small if I was to explain the background of it,
But I don’t have the energy for any kind of judgement…
I wish sometimes that voices could be unplugged,
to prevent my mind from feeling tugged!
It’s ok to yell, when they say so, get me?
Like when you decide on your own, then it’s a mental thing.
Shaking my head in real life, it shouldn’t be this difficult,
Yet, people roam this world specifically to be cruel..
Don’t get it at all, but it seems like there’re rules –
Unwritten that I didn’t learn in school.
I mean honestly, who teaches people to be so ignorant,
I can go on about it, but it’s not time to rant.
Talking about it isn’t going move anything, complain for what?
All I know is, no matter what, this woman isn’t giving up!
I definitely went so left, that you didn’t even notice,
I’m still trying to figure out why it’s hard to control this emotion..
My mind is boggled, and scrambled all over the place,
I must stay focused though, it’s a lot I know I have to face.
Head on I will deal with my iniquities, no matter the difficulty,
And encourage myself more to move pass my insecurities.
Yes, I have them, I wouldn’t dare reveal that to just anyone..
No one’s a mind reader though, so I lose some.
I’m just saying, I’m not entertaining it at all,
Sometimes you got to know when it’s a lost cause.
Always questioning myself, wondering if what I do is right,
Because even when you are, you’re told you’re not, out of spite!
It irritates my soul, that people really take that type of time,
And it sucks, especially going through it in your prime.
Not saying anytime is right in you life,
But growing still, and trying to deal with strife…
It’s hard, it loses you before you fully know who you are –
So selfish when you think about isn’t it, but again
My question still stands, why can’t I control this sentiment?
Her chest hurts, my chest hurts, my soul, and her spirit..
Do you understand that? How thick this is?
Although I’m only saying how I feel, and what’s on
My mind too, yet, I’m supposed to let down my shield.
That’s craziness, it’s wild to be honest, like think…
Conceive on how much is coming out, I am not about to sink!
I don’t care how long this may take,
I’m on a release kick, getting this off my shoulders, for my life’s sake!
Overtime is running over, and I’m still not stopping the clock!
I see my target clear as day – opening the window to shoot my mark!